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#11: Get your nose out of other people’s style.

Believe it or not, there is no “right way” to dress. If I’m more comfortable with a Polo shirt buttoned all the way to the top, tucked into flood pants, with white crew socks bunched around my Birkenstocks… ain’t none of y’alls business. If you want to wear thick wool suits to karaoke night at a grunge bar, ain’t none of my business. And if I want to be trendy and wear trendy clothes, that’s my business too. Nobody ever has to rationalize what they wear to others.

WHEN IT MIGHT BE YOUR BUSINESS:

If I show up to my child’s school play in a Speedo and army boots… It still ain’t none of your business.

#12: Get your nose out of other people’s relationships.

It is really easy for you to know exactly what I should be doing differently in my relationships when my relationship road gets bumpy. I know because it’s really easy for me to look inside your relationship and know exactly what you should be doing. But we have to remember that from the outside, just about everything is black and white. Inside relationships, it’s so much more gray than anything that can be seen by friends or family members. I don’t ever have to rationalize my relationship problems or let other people tell me what to do differently.

WHEN IT MIGHT BE YOUR BUSINESS:

If I ever fall deeply in love with myself, and get into a relationship with myself (verified in my Facebook profile), and start fighting with myself, you may at that point attempt to help me. By calling the state hospital.



#13: Get your nose out of other people’s failures.

If there’s one thing we love to stick our noses in more than other people’s successes, it’s other people’s failures. We sniff them out and hunt them down, and then we make sure to use other people’s failures as our platform for proving how we know better, would have done better, and wouldn’t have failed ourselves in such situations. But come on. Do you really think anyone wants to hear it?

WHEN IT MIGHT BE YOUR BUSINESS:

You may stick your nose into my following failures: when I fail to breathe. When I fail to show up to the next rendezvous point while we’re hiking. When I fail to move after a yoga class; please look for twitching. If I appear dead but I’m twitching, I’m good and I just need a minute.

#14: Get your nose out of other people’s sexuality.

Gay. Bisexual. Straight. Transgender. Asexual. Pansexual. It’s really none of your business or my business. Somehow we have to move past this weird idea that we all need to know exactly what everyone else is or isn’t. Sexual labels trap people into lives that aren’t their own. They also trap people from being able to learn and grow and even change their minds if they need to. If we’d all get our noses out of other people’s sexuality, and simply not care, we’d all be happier. Acceptance is not an action. It’s simply the act of honestly learning not to care.

WHEN IT MIGHT BE YOUR BUSINESS:

If I ever tell you that I’m a lesbian, you may question it.



#15: Get your nose out of other people’s time.

Look, I’m not saying it’s the best way to spend my time, but if I want to watch all eight seasons of 24 without stopping or sleeping, and pee in milk jugs, and wait to shower until the end, that’s my business, not yours. If I want to spend my time making cross-stitches of 2Pac, or pickle-flavored popsicles, or homemade deodorant, that’s my business as well. Not yours. Just because you wouldn’t spend your time the same way I would, doesn’t mean you can tell me my way is wrong or weird or time wasted.

WHEN IT MIGHT BE YOUR BUSINESS:

If you ever see me spend my time carrying fertilizer bags and gas masks into my apartment, I give you permission to poke your nose into my going-ons, because if you see something you should say something.

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