For a while now, I’ve been saving all the ridiculous(ly awesome) stock photos I accidentally came across while searching for images to use.
I’m not really sure why any of these are stock photos at all, but I sure am weirdly glad they made it because finding them made my life so much better, even if just for a few awesome moments.
29 Ridiculous(ly Awesome) Stock Photos
The Chimp and the Child
Good father figures take time out of their golf games to play with their kids. Or something like that.
The Giant Orange
Back in the day, you peeled one orange for all your 317 kids, and you were done.
The Almost Naked Man and a Teddy Bear
They both have identical fur coverings.
The Giraffe Pirate
Animals are sick and tired of us humans being the only ones allowed to cosplay.
The Vulture Kidnapper
“Daddy, where do babies come from?” Storks.
And if you’re naughty, a vulture will come and take you away.
I don’t even know what I typed in to accidentally come across this. I hope that I was this photo’s one – and only – download.
Gas mask and Lingerie
I’ve decided one of the following must have been going on for this photo to exist:
1) This chick is dating a super gassy person.
2) This chick is doing a social experiment to see if people actually look above the boobs in any photo where the idea of boobs is present.
3) This chick, and her photographer, are both hoping to inspire a newer, more creepy 50 Shades series.
The Flying Ram
Because everyone looking for stock photography is going to fall in love with this powerful visualization…
Kissing a Dead Fish
I don’t think it’s fair that she’s Photoshopped to flawlessness and the fish got no such treatment, even after giving his life for the shoot.
A Delicious Walking Stick Insect
Her tongue says “I’m supposed to pretend like I’m enjoying this.” The rest of her face says, “WTF am I doing right now?”
Sexy-Face Kitchen Warrior
I actually agree. The right moment in the right kitchen can make a person very sexy. And the kitchen is also a battleground.
Whatever the F*** This Is
I had to look at this no fewer than six times to finally figure out what it was I was looking at.
Man Hiding Behind Bananas
Please. Please, please, please… Somebody explain to me the deep message I’m supposed to be reading into this.
Cat Dog Lady
I’m actually quite confused as to whether this awesome lady loves dogs, cats, or looking like a delightful psycho more.
The Lightbulb Changing… Clown?
The bracelets really complete this stock photo. Or maybe it’s the scarf. Or maybe the entire ensemble just… works. I can’t wait to have a blog post that needs this guy in it.
A pickle. On top of a mug of milk.
I’ll tell you what I didn’t do after seeing this stock photo. I didn’t not try it.
The Aging Cowgirl
For all those blog posts where a cute little thang, or a real horse, just won’t do.
Complete with awkward suggestive pose and a garter around the neck.
Fingers with Feet
Why do I feel like I’m looking at a super naughty picture?
Fingers with candles
You’re probably gonna want to trim those nose hairs before you go digging for gold.
Move over guerrillas. There’s a new kid on the block. I know, I know. WTF.
Pelican Pecking Order
Have you ever had need of just the right imagery to convey someone swallowing someone else’s head whole? Look no further.
This guy just really likes himself. And I have it on good authority he actually poses like that when he goes to the movies.
I will never look at cute little fluff balls the same. Ever.
Banana in a Toaster
Would I totally pay good money for this stock photo? Um. Yes.
Boobs and Christmas… Cheer?
Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. What else sells Christmas more, besides raging lunacy, of course?
The Manly Man’s Beard
What says “manly man” more than this? The answer is… Nothing.
Sucked Into the Meat Grinder
Back in the good ol’ days, when people caught their clothes in meat grinders, they were required to just keep… on… going.
Whatever the f*** This Is
The Wet Moped Man
Streets? We don’t need no stinking streets. PS. I’m digging the manpris, man.